“You had to be there.” This is the phrase we say when words cannot fully express an experience. This week I had my first L’Arche home experience. If I could, I would just say “You had to be there,” but that wouldn’t make for a very interesting read, so I’ll do my best. If you have randomly come across this blog you might not know what a L’Arche home is. L’Arche is a community where people with and without disabilities live together and support one another in community.
When we first arrived at the L’Arche GWDC home in Arlington, Virginia, we parked in a beautiful neighborhood where I could immediately imagine myself spending a lot of time outside, walking down the sidewalks, and exploring the neighborhood. As we entered the house, we were greeted by a person named Alice, who briefly showed us the living room and then quickly showed us where to find snacks and drinks and told us to help ourselves during our stay. This first impression ended up being a brief example of how I felt the rest of our visit. I felt “At Home.”
We met with several staff members of L’Arche GWDC to learn all we could about the operations of L’Arche, from medication management to record keeping. What I was most interested in though was really experiencing the “vibe” of the house, and I was not disappointed. Shortly after we arrived, other people started coming to the home from their daily activities and the house was immediately filled with energy. People were excited to greet us and their housemates whom they were away from all day. Hugs, warm smiles, and fist bumps were given in abundance. The warm greetings were not just towards us, the new visitors, but to friends who just had seen each other yesterday, or earlier in the day. I imagine this is how many afternoons are – filled with joy and warm greetings. You really just had to be there…
That evening we joined in for their Third Tuesday Meeting. The L’Arche GWDC Arlington community is lucky to have two L’Arche houses just down the street from each other. So every Third Tuesday, one house journeys down the street to the other house for a community meeting together. Even the journey to the other house was filled with joyful chatter as people helped each other stroll or roll down the sidewalk. There was great excitement shared as many members chatted about Bruce’s upcoming birthday. You really just had to be there…
Before I began working for L’Arche NC, I spent 11 years working full time for a summer camp and retreat center, so my my best comparison for a Third Tuesday meeting is as close to camp as anything in the real world may come. There was dancing, singing, silliness, jokes. Best of all everyone was welcomed as they are and celebrated for the gifts each person brings to the community. [Lori led the stretches (airplane movements to a song), Eric led announcements, and Bruce gave the blessing (he suggested everyone sing Blackbird by the Beatles). We also spent time reflecting on the guiding principles of L’Arche – how we are living out each principle as well as what we can do to improve. I love being in community and reflecting on the many ways that we love well and how we can love better.
Since returning to the Triangle, I’ve also been reflecting on the stories I heard that reiterate how special the community of L’Arche can be. Stories of families growing up in and around L’Arche, Assistant’s families sharing Christmas morning together at the L’Arche house, L’Arche leaders moving away and feeling like they lost their family, and another Assistant committing to spend several evenings a week and most of his Saturdays over the past 5 years at L’Arche GWDC on top of his full time teaching job because L’Arche brings him so much joy. Celebrations of birthdays, anniversaries, house trips. This is how I believe community should be. Where our lives are so integrated and intertwined that the lines are blurred for who is supporting who. Where lives are shared and all gifts are celebrated. You really just had to be there…
We are currently in search of a house for L’Arche North Carolina to bring this type of community to the Triangle. As I imagine what this home will look like, I look forward to inviting you to “Come experience it for yourself.” But until then “You just had to be there.”
