I first heard of L’Arche when I was in college. One of the Chaplains at my university, Sr. Jennifer, suggested I read a book by Henri Nouwen. And, soon after I finished it (The Road to Daybreak), I soon wanted to read more writings from Nouwen. I remember saying to Sr. Jennifer that I was thinking about applying to live at a L’Arche community after college.
Around that same time, I was also visiting and exploring seminaries. I don’t remember the exact turn of events and decision-making back then. However, I do remember I received an early acceptance letter to Duke Divinity School, and once I received that letter, my sights were set on Duke.
Fast forward more than a decade later… in the fall of 2020, my wife and I got married, and we discussed where we would like to “settle down.” At the time, we were living in California. With her job, which she loves, we could live in either California or North Carolina. I was a Chaplain at a university, and I was open to possibilities. So, I wrote to some of my old Divinity School friends still in North Carolina to network and see what might be available in Durham. One of the friends I wrote to was Heather Bixler, a former Board member of L’Arche NC. She replied and asked if I had ever considered working for L’Arche… that there was a Founding Community Leader position open. I replied and said, “Yes, actually I considered working or L’Arche in college! The winds just blew me in a different direction.” We wrote back and forth a few times, and I began my discernment process of working for L’Arche.
What amazes me about my story is that at one point in my life, I said “No” to L’Arche because of Duke Divinity School. However, a little more than a decade later I was able to say “Yes” to L’Arche because of a connection from Duke Divinity School. The Divine works in mysterious ways!
The rest is, as they say, “history.” I began serving and leading L’Arche NC in 2021. Yes, during the pandemic! And, as you probably picked up from the story I shared, I’ve never lived in a L’Arche community. I’ve only ever read about the amazing transformative relationships and place of belonging. Therefore, as soon as I started working for L’Arche NC I wanted and needed to visit as many of the 18 established L’Arche communities in the U.S as possible.
Yet, the pandemic made that very difficult. Due to the rise in COVID cases, two of my trips were canceled. Then, I planned another trip to St. Louis in February of this year. Unfortunately, my flight was canceled for the weekend due to inclement weather, and I couldn’t visit. After that, I was supposed to visit another L’Arche community in March… but then my dog got sick and had to have surgery so I stayed home. It seemed like every trip I planned was canceled!
Finally, in June, one of my plans worked out. I stopped by one of the L’Arche homes in the D.C. area for lunch on a very long layover during my summer vacation travels. My first real L’Arche community experience! It was a short visit, but it was great to have lunch with some of the Core Members and Assistants.
While the visit to L’Arche GWDC was wonderful. I knew I needed and wanted more L’Arche! Therefore, I planned a visit to L’Arche Atlanta. If you’ve been to our monthly prayer and reflection gathering, “Y’all Belong Here: an inclusive sacred space” you know that we co-host this Zoom event with L’Arche Atlanta. We have been meeting together monthly on Zoom since May 2021. Through the planning and gathering, I have formed some great friendships with the L’Arche ATL folks, and I was so excited to meet them in person!
My Visit
L’Arche Atlanta recently opened their second home. I spent one day at their new home and one day at their original home. Visiting each and spending the day there provided an opportunity to get to know everyone. It also allowed me to soak up the daily rhythms of community life.
The new L’Arche Atlanta house is BIG. I believe it is 8 bedrooms. L’Arche ATL renovated a large brick duplex to be this warm and inviting home. When I arrived around 10am the house was pretty quiet. Many of the Core Members were at work. I sat down for coffee with the Home Life Leader, and we talked about all things L’Arche. After our meeting, we both had a little work to do, so we took advantage of the quiet time to send emails and take a Zoom meeting.
By afternoon, some of the Core Members were coming back home. One of them invited me to watch a movie with her in the living room. We laughed together as we watched Miss Congeniality. As the movie was ending, another Core Member arrived home from work. And, about that time an Assistant started making dinner in the kitchen with a Core Member. As I entered the kitchen, the Core Member immediately welcomed me. She shared about her job and her day. Soon after she said, “Laura, I’m so glad you’re here!” and I replied, “I am too!!” She shared with me about the L’Arche house and how great it was to live there. I could tell having this place to call home has really changed her life.
When dinner was ready, we gathered around the large dinner table together. We shared stories over the meal. A parent of one of the Core Members joined us for dinner. He shared about knowing L’Arche ATL for the past ten years and attending L’Arche events with his daughter. It was great to hear how connected they were and the impact L’Arche had on them before ever living in a L’Arche house.
After dinner, we all shared two things we were grateful for that day. And, I must say, this is a tradition I’d like to continue with my family. What a wonderful way to reflect back on the day and take note of all the goodness. Of the two things that each person was grateful for, one was always L’Arche: “I’m grateful for the friends I’ve made at L’Arche,” “I’m glad to have this good meal at L’Arche,” “I’m thankful for this community.” It was evident as a newcomer to this community that L’Arche has made a big impact on each of them.
It was a day I won’t soon forget. Even though I shared life together with them for just one day, as I left that evening, I was saying goodbye and goodnight to friends. One of the greatest gifts of L’Arche is the friendships that are made. They are formed quickly, but are long-lasting!
On the second day of my trip, I visited the original L’Arche ATL house. As I walked in the door, I immediately started to smile. There was a sign on the wall that read, “Welcome to L’Arche ATL L’Aura!” It was wonderful to meet friends in person that I’ve only known through Zoom. Becca and Terry welcomed me and seeing these friends from Zoom I immediately felt at home.
Similar to the new house, this L’Arche home was quiet during the day. We joined the “Y’all Belong” Zoom together in the dining room. Then, we discussed previous trivia events that we had both hosted. This led to a conversation about “oobleck” — which led to a spontaneous afternoon activity of making oobleck. Truly, it was like being at home with my family, just hanging out and telling stories.
As folks returned home from their work, the house became lively! The talk of the evening was a birthday celebration planned for the next day. A Core Member was turning 40, and there were big plans to celebrate. Amid the stories and planning, Becca made dinner, and the table was set on the porch. Each place setting at the table had a clothespin indicating where each person would sit. I looked down and saw my name on a clothespin near a bowl of chili. There is something about seeing your name at a seat that makes you stop and think, “Wow, I belong here!” The L’Arche welcome is a welcome like none other I’ve experienced. The Core Members and Assistants welcomed me in and accepted me as one of their own community members. It was really special. It’s something that I have had a hard time trying to explain or put into words. It must be experienced to fully know what I mean.
After dinner, we had dessert. Birthday cake of course! However, this was a special birthday cake. This was birthday cake from work that the Core Member brought home and offered to share with his community. It was really touching to see him offer his leftover cake to everyone gathered at the table. What he could have hoarded for himself, he shared with the community.
Around the dinner table, we all shared two things we were grateful for that day. I know that I was smiling ear-to-ear soaking up this moment on the porch. It was exciting and inspiring to be part of the L’Arche ATL community for the day. It filled me with so much hope and energy for the work before us in North Carolina. I can’t wait until we have a home and dinner table to gather around to share a meal and things we are grateful for!
You can help us establish our first L’Arche community home in North Carolina. Every donation given goes directly toward opening our first home.
